Open. Nobody is behind the desk.
The Adventurer’s Guild
Job board Hints at every job No score kept Rooms: all of them
Somebody has come onto this street and filed everything. Ruled boxes, square corners, a class in the margin, a stamp for a job that is done. It is the only tidy room here and it is tidy the way a form is tidy, which on a street whose whole architecture is that nothing matches is the strangest thing anybody could have built.
Every job below sends you to a marker standing in one of the rooms — a small drawing of something lying about in there, drawn in that room’s own colours, because no two rooms on this street look alike and neither do their markers. Open the marker and it gives you a quest code. Bring the code back here.
Hand in a quest code
Spaces and capitals do not matter. If you followed a link from a marker the code is already in the box — press the button when you are ready, because pressing it is the only thing that makes a noise.
Your browser is not letting this page store anything, so stamps will not survive you leaving. Everything still works; it just will not be here when you come back. Nothing about this is kept anywhere but your own browser in the first place.
House rules
- Nothing here is scored. No total, no percentage, no streak, no rank you climb, and nothing that expires. The board stamps a job when you hand its code in and that is the entire bookkeeping. One job is a perfectly good number of jobs to do.
- The difficulty class is how far you walk. I is on the street, II is through a door off another room, III is out past the treeline in the field. It says nothing whatever about the person doing it, which is why it is measured in doors.
- Every job has hints, and some have a question. A question is answered by a sentence already published on the page you are standing on — that is the point of asking. The hints are at the job, the question’s own hints are at the marker, and every question has a “give me the answer” way out. Taking it is a real way through this and not a lesser one.
- The fanfare does what the dial says, and the words never change. At Gentle handing a code in says its piece and does nothing else. At Regular it chimes. At MAX GLITTER it chimes properly and throws sparks up the page. You get the same sentences at all three.
- Nothing in here flashes or strobes, at any setting. That is Club Chronic’s rule and it holds everywhere on this street.
- The markers are not hidden. They are quiet, which is a different thing: every one is a full-size control in the tab order with a real name on it, and every one opens without JavaScript. A secret only a sighted mouse user can find is not a secret.
The jobs
In the order they were posted rather than sorted by class, because sorting by difficulty would stack the long walks at the bottom and start looking like a ladder.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
Read the street before you walk it
Somebody has chalked a mark on the kerb outside the guild. Go and look at it. This is the shortest job on the board and it exists so that the first one you ever do is one you cannot get wrong.
Takes under a minute
Hint 1
It is on the front page, not behind any door.
Hint 2
Go to the very bottom of the street, past the shopfronts and past the signpost, to where the pavement is.
Where exactly it is
Right at the foot of the street, down on the pavement below the signpost.
Every job marker on this street looks like the room it is standing in and none of them look like each other. That is the whole site in one habit.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
Whose records are on that dancefloor
There is a sequin on the floor of the Pink Pony Club. Pick it up, and while you are down there settle an argument about who owns the music in that room.
Takes a minute, plus one line of reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is behind the first shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
Look at the floor rather than at the jukebox.
Where exactly it is
Down on the dancefloor at the very bottom of the room, below the jukebox.
Press-to-play is the mechanism behind that claim, and it is checkable: open a network panel, load the room, and count the requests to YouTube. There are none until you press.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
A rhinestone off the vestments
A rhinestone has come off something in the Rhinestone Vatican and is lying on the floor of one of the arches. It is a subroom behind the dancefloor, so you will have to go through the Pink Pony Club to reach it.
Takes a minute or two, mostly walking
Hint 1
It is not on the street. It is behind one of the rooms that is.
Hint 2
Go into Pink Pony Club and look for the way through to the chapel.
Where exactly it is
On the chapel floor at the foot of the room, below the last arch.
A subroom is not a smaller version of its parent. The dancefloor is flat hot pink with cream Shrikhand; the chapel is votive indigo and gold Monoton. They share a door and nothing else.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
Read the door policy
There is a safety pin stuck through the paste-up wall at Club Chronic. Before it will come loose you have to have read what is pinned next to it, because that room makes a promise most clubs do not.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street, not behind a door.
Hint 2
It is the punk one, with the paste-up wall and the rack of records.
Where exactly it is
On the floor at the very bottom of the club, below the rack.
That room also says out loud that a loud room is an access barrier. A page celebrating a scene built out of volume, crowding and stairs, which never names who cannot get in, is doing the inspiration thing this organisation exists to refuse.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
One staple off the table
Somebody has left a staple on the zine table. Take it. There is nothing to work out on this one; it is here so there is a job you can do on your way past.
Takes under a minute
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
It is the table itself rather than either of the issues laid out on it.
Where exactly it is
On the table at the very bottom of the room, below the issues.
That room prints to one sheet in black and white, and a tool renders it to a real PDF to check both halves of that claim. This marker is not on the sheet: a quest target is a screen control, so it is set not to print.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
What issue two is about
There is a paperclip holding issue two together. It will come off once you can say what the issue is about, which is written on the issue.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
Go to the zine table first; the issues are on it.
Hint 2
It is the second issue, not the first.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of issue two, below the last panel.
Both zine pages print to one sheet and only in the inks a photocopier can manage. Adding one paragraph has pushed that room back over the limit more than once, which is why a tool measures it instead of somebody remembering.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
Name the physicist
There is a detector sitting in the interference pattern in Hear Queer Here. It will give up its reading once you can name whose work that room is arguing from.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
It is the room with the interference panel and the superposition buttons.
Where exactly it is
At the foot of the room, below the readings.
The buttons in that room never start audio. Collapsing is a measurement, not a play — which is why the panel can be walked end to end without anything being fetched.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
One sticker, peeling
A sticker on Enid's wall has started to lift at one corner. Press it back down, or take it; either way there is a code under it.
Takes under a minute
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
It is the goth one, with the wall of stickers and the chair.
Where exactly it is
On the floor at the very bottom of the room, below the wall and the chair.
Every sticker on that wall is wired to a glossary entry on stimpunks.org, and each link was checked against a local mirror rather than fetched live, because on that site a redirect will happily deliver somebody to the wrong page and call it a success.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
What we will not do to a picture of you
There is a spare drawing pin stuck in the wall beside the photographs. It is in the board, not in anybody's picture. To get it you need to have read the promise that wall makes.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is behind Enid's Room.
Hint 2
It is the wall of photographs behind Enid's Room, not Enid's Room itself.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the wall, below the last row of photographs.
The photographs on that wall are excluded from this site's CC BY-SA licence, and that exclusion is load-bearing: CC BY-SA cannot be revoked, so a photograph published under it could not be taken back. Withdrawal here is deletion, not a hidden flag.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
A block off the floor
There is a wooden block on the floor of the Playhouse with a letter on it. Everything in that room is a button; this one is a block.
Takes under a minute
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
On the floor, under the toys rather than among them.
Where exactly it is
On the floor at the very bottom of the room, below the toys.
Every noise in that room is synthesised in the browser except the recorded yells, and the sentence saying so is generated from the same data as the button — so it stops being true and starts being wrong in the same commit rather than a month later.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
How loud is the arcade
Somebody has dropped a token on the carpet in the arcade. Pick it up, and answer the thing the foyer says about itself that no real arcade could.
Takes a minute, plus one line of reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
On the carpet in the foyer, not on a cabinet.
Where exactly it is
On the carpet at the very bottom of the foyer, below the cabinets.
That room is the one place on the street where the pages are supposed to look alike: an arcade is machines with one body and different things behind the glass. The worlds are the screens.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
Who drew the porcupine
A quill has drifted off the screen and landed at the foot of the cabinet. Nothing on the playfield moves before the coin goes in, so this one is on the floor.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
Go into the arcade and walk up to a cabinet.
Hint 2
It is the cabinet with the porcupine, not the one with the otter.
Where exactly it is
On the floor at the very bottom of the page, below the cabinet.
The Esmx in that cabinet is redrawn rather than pasted in. That is not a permissions matter — it is a room-consistency one, plus the fact that our own licence asks for variants rather than merely allowing them.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
What floating is for
An empty clam shell has washed up at the edge of the kelp bay. Getting it means being clear about what the otter gets for floating, which is the whole argument of that cabinet.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
Go into the arcade and walk up to a cabinet.
Hint 2
It is the cabinet with the otter, not the one with the porcupine.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the page, below the cabinet.
That cabinet also refuses to rank the other otters — there is no standard otter — and refuses to round the clam's range into something tidier. Every number in it sits beside the paper it came from.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
Who named the locution
There is a pebble on the shore that nobody has taken to a nest. It is yours if you can name whose locution this cabinet is built on.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
Go into the arcade and walk up to a cabinet.
Hint 2
It is the shore one, with the penguins.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the page, below the cabinet.
That cabinet keeps no tally of what you gave. No total, no streak, and the neighbours bring you things on their own clock whether or not you have ever given them anything — a timer rather than a reward, because a number beside a practice that is not about volume would quietly make it about volume.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
The shelf is not a checklist
There is a key on a hook by the round door of the burrow. To get it, look at the shelf of things to do with your body and be clear about what kind of list it is.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
It is the burrow with the round door, the wireless and the tube television.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the burrow, below the wireless and the television.
That room reads almost entirely dark on lit plaster, where the Faery Yurt reads cream on dark all the way down. Two rooms lit by the same kind of light, inverted — which is why the burrow's share card is the only one on the street made of two grounds.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
The thing a live camera cannot tell you
A leaf has come down out of the canopy in the viewing room. Every other press-to-play control on this street says one thing before the press that these cameras cannot.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
It is the viewing room with the nature cams, not the den behind it.
Where exactly it is
On the floor at the very bottom of the viewing room, below the last gallery.
That room also found out that playing and embedding are two different permissions. A cam can be perfectly alive and still have embedding switched off, so those ones are doors out to YouTube rather than windows — because pretending a link is a screen is the broken thing.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
The George Jones cover in Elvis's den
One of the songs cut in that carpet was a hit for George Jones first, and the man who sang it there wrote none of it. There is a 45 spindle adapter on the shelf by the bench; it is yours once you can name a writer.
Takes two or three minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is behind the Jungle Room, through the back.
Hint 2
It is the carpeted room behind the Jungle Room, with the cuts on it.
Where exactly it is
On the floor at the very bottom of the den, below the last cut.
Every video id in that room was resolved and then checked on its own watch page and matched against the released runtime, because searching any of those titles turns up alternate takes on the same official channels — and a room arguing these are the records that came out of that carpet cannot hand somebody a rehearsal.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
Borrow, not buy
A library card has been left in the pocket of one of the books in the Mopery. The shelves there insist on one kind of link and do not insist on the other.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street.
Hint 2
It is the library, the reading room and the parlour, all one room.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the room, below the reading nook.
That room shows one scan of a manuscript and only points at another, one line of metadata apart: one is published under a public domain mark, the other carries a notice along the foot of its own first leaf. The poem is free in both; the objects are not the same object.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
A deck that will not answer
There is a lozenge cut into the rule at the foot of the oracle deck. It comes away once you can say what every card in that deck does instead of telling you something.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is behind the Mopery, through the parlour.
Hint 2
Look at the rule at the very foot of the deck, below the cards.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the page, below the last card.
A deck that told somebody how their life was going to go would be doing the thing the rest of these pages exist to refuse, in the one room dark enough to get away with it — and it would arrive as a friendly edit from somebody who thought a question was a bit thin.
-
Difficulty class IIthrough a door
Public domain everywhere
There is a spot of foxing on the roll in the doomscroll where the paper has aged. That scroll waits longer than one country's law requires before it will carry a poem, and it will tell you how long.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is behind the Mopery, off the library.
Hint 2
On the roll itself rather than in any poem.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the roll, below the last poem.
That scroll sorts on the date a poem went public rather than the date it was written, which for a good part of it is decades apart — and it turned down a famous poem whose printing nobody could trace, because a text you cannot source is the one thing a scroll built out of dates cannot carry.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
The keys are in the door
There is an empty storefront on this street with the keys still in the door. Go and look at them. The room is empty on purpose and the terms are written down.
Takes under a minute
Hint 1
It is a shopfront on the street, and the only one with nothing in it.
Hint 2
It is the storefront with nothing in it and the terms written down.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the room, below the terms.
That storefront is empty because somebody in the community gets to decorate it, and the terms for doing so are published rather than negotiated in a direct message.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
A clip off the noticeboard
There is a spare bulldog clip on the pebble board out on the pavement. It is street furniture rather than a shopfront, so you do not have to go through a door to reach it.
Takes under a minute
Hint 1
It is not behind a door. It is out on the pavement, on the street itself.
Hint 2
It is under the glass on the pavement, with the back issues racked beneath.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the board, below the back-issue rack.
That board is a periodical rather than a premises: a new edition goes up when there is a new gathering and the old ones stay in the rack underneath, which is why it is not one of the shopfronts.
-
Difficulty class IIIpast the treeline
Out past the treeline
Somebody has left a tent peg in the ground at the campgrounds. The field is past the end of the street, so this one is a walk.
Takes two minutes, mostly walking
Hint 1
It is not on the street at all. Follow the signpost at the end of it.
Hint 2
On the bare ground of the field, not on any of the pitches.
Where exactly it is
In the grass at the very bottom of the field, below the last pitch.
That field has no ambient layer at any dial setting, and the reason is not the same as Club Chronic's: the field is still because quiet is what it is for.
-
Difficulty class IIIpast the treeline
A candle stub on the windowsill
There is a candle stub on the windowsill in the Faery Yurt, pitch 01 in the campgrounds, burnt most of the way down. Take it and leave everything else as you found it.
Takes two minutes, mostly walking
Hint 1
It is not on the street. Go out past the treeline to the campgrounds first.
Hint 2
It is pitch 01, the first thing standing in that field.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the yurt, below everything else in it.
That room is Helen Edgar's design and not ours to redesign — the palette, the typefaces, the drawings and every line of its copy came from a mockup she sent. This repo has changed exactly one colour of hers, because her smallest grey failed WCAG on every ground it sat on, and that change is written up in four places. The candle stub is ours, added with Ryan's say-so, and written up in the liner notes for the same reason.
-
Difficulty class IIIpast the treeline
The book this room will not serve
There is a firefly low in the grass at pitch 02. That room points at a book it will not play for you, and it will want you to know why before it lets the firefly go.
Takes three minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is not on the street. Go out past the treeline to the campgrounds first.
Hint 2
It is pitch 02, the meadow with the path through it.
Where exactly it is
Low in the grass at the very bottom of the meadow, below the clearing.
That room also carries a correction to our own glossary near the top rather than in a footnote: two of our entries attribute a phrase to Barry Lopez that he never wrote. When two of our own pages disagree, the one that checked wins.
-
Difficulty class IIIpast the treeline
The fourth learning space
There is a sunflower head drying on a hook outside the hermitage at pitch 03. Three of the four primordial learning spaces are laid out inside that cabin. The fourth is not in there, and the room will tell you where it is.
Takes three minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is not on the street. Go out past the treeline to the campgrounds first.
Hint 2
It is pitch 03, the cabin on wheels with the panels on the roof.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the page, below the last of the cabin.
It is the only room on this street lit by morning. Every other world here is a dark ground with light applied to it; a cabin that runs on the sun and reads as midnight would be an argument against itself.
-
Difficulty class Ion the street
The two habits that survived
There is a colophon mark at the foot of the liner notes. This street dropped most of the care its sibling sites run on and kept exactly two things. Name the one that is not contrast.
Takes two minutes, and some reading · there is a question to answer in the room
Hint 1
It is one of the pages linked from the pavement at the foot of the street.
Hint 2
Go to the very bottom of the credits.
Where exactly it is
At the very bottom of the page, below the last credit.
Contrast survived for a reason that is not the obvious one. This is a Disabled people's organisation, and a glitter-maximalist site that excluded the people it is for would be a self-own of exactly the kind we exist to name. The fix was never to tone it down — it was the dial.
A guild is an inn as well as a board, and there is no bed in this one yet. When there is, it will be a room about rest as something you are owed rather than something you earn — which means it will owe a great deal to The Nap Ministry and Tricia Hersey, and will say so in its own copy rather than in a footnote. Until then the guild is a board and a counter, and the counter is unattended on purpose.
Who made this noise
The trope is everybody’s and belongs to nobody; the rooms it points at are ours. This one sets Rye, a woodtype face for posted bills, and Public Sans, which was drawn for United States government forms — both under the SIL Open Font License, both credited with everything else in the liner notes. Nothing you do here leaves your own browser. There is no account and no server: the stamps are a list of job names in your own local storage, and the button above throws them away.
The street · Liner notes · Changelog · A Stimpunks Foundation street.
HOW LOUD DO YOU WANT IT?
Starts wherever your device says. Nothing moves, flashes, or plays until you say so — and in here the dial decides how loudly a finished job is announced. It never changes what the board tells you.